The litmus for testing a true relationship is bad times. Yes! In bad times, not good times. It’s in the bad times you get to know the true colours of people.
It’s in the bad times you get to know who is real and who is fake.
It’s in bad times you need people much and it’s in the bad times that people leave. Great relationships are the ones which are able to withstand bad times and come out smiling. Bad times often separate games from reality.
Honestly, couples who have been through bad times are stronger
than those who have never experienced one. As a matter of fact, how
couples handle bad times determines the longevity of such relationship.
There are those whose relationship started very well, with exciting and wonderful times, but ended on a bad note in bad times. One of such example is when the man is broke, has lost a job or his source of income. Many marriages end up in divorce due to this; as such it’s worth talking about.
It isn’t always the case that a lady leaves the man because he is broke and can’t meet her needs or that of the family; there are many times when despite the conditions, the woman is willing to stay but the man just pushes her away.
It’s annoying living with some men when they are broke. They become frustrated, bath you with their frustration, provoke you and hurt you with their words. No matter how loyal and good you are as a lady, at a point you just can’t take it anymore, and as much as it hurts you to leave, you have no choice than to go.
Men are born leaders. The role of a husband starts with leadership which comprises provision and protection. A true lover is a provider and protector. “But if any do not care for their own, and especially for those of their own house, they have denied the faith and are worse than unbelievers” – 1 Timothy 5:8 (MEV).
So you can understand what goes through a man’s mind when he is not able to provide for his family. He feels like he has denied his family, that he is not in control as a leader and he may even give up on love.
Yet the bible says “And you husbands must be loving and kind to your wives and not bitter against them nor harsh” – Colossians 3:19 (TLB).
To the man, providing for the family needs means love, it means to care and once they can’t do this, they become frustrated, easily get irritated and become abusive because they feel inadequate.
What the woman in his life can do for him in times like that is to speak words of encouragement.
Give him the respect and honour he deserve, praise him for his efforts and assure him all is well. Pray for him and be a best friend who listens, who never judges but understands; for that is your role as his helper. You help him get up on his feet when he falls.
You don’t deny your husband sex because he is broke; you don’t disrespect him because he can’t meet your needs; such behaviour won’t help the situation, but loving him gives him strength to rise up again.
In conclusion, it’s beautiful to find out you are loved in bad times and that your loved ones ask for nothing but your company