When Your Wife Refuses You Sex, I Suggest You Do the Following By Oby Ogbolu

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    It is a fact that some married women always shut their husbands out
    sexually. It starts little then it gets to that point they are completely not
    interested in having sex.
    You wonder why the woman you love and have always had sex with at any
    time you wanted would suddenly stopped wanting you. It has even become a
    routine. Once it’s bed time, the lights are turned off and she faces the other
    side of the wall, she ignores or turns down every of your touches, and her
    excuses ranges from tiredness, feeling sleepy, menstrual cramps, waist pain,
    she’s not feeling well, not in the mood or an outright ‘leave me alone’. She
    goes to sleep until the next morning. These excuses continues for weeks,
    months and even years.
    You have to know that your wife shutting you out sexually didn’t just happen
    overnight, there was a build up until it got to where you are right now. She
    may have always complained in the past by her actions and inaction but you
    ignored or even didn’t understand her body language. So, you are at the point
    you either have sex with her by force, cheat on her or let her just be.
    Your woman sure have her real reasons for denying you sex but because she
    is scared of bruising your ego with her truth, she sticks to her excuses of
    tiredness, waist pain, menstrual cramps, etc. Her true reasons may include: her
    inability to enjoy sex with you or even experience orgasm.
    .
    You have never given her a mind blowing sex. In fact, sex with you is open
    and close, no fore play, no romance, no kissing, no cuddling or any form of
    creativity, you are just thrusting in and out, and overtime sex style became
    monotonous, a routine and she is bored out of her mind. For the fact that
    she’s scared of expressing herself sexually, she kept massaging your ego with
    moaning sounds that makes you feel you are doing a good job. You also get
    comfortable believing she enjoys it your way, but in the real sense, she wishes
    you can even ask her how she likes it better.
    .
    Your state of hygiene could be another reason. Your hygiene has become so
    terrible that even your breath alone almost chokes life out of her and she has
    lost every form of sexual attraction towards you. You sometimes return from
    work and want sex straight away without even taking a shower or even
    freshening your breath.
    She could also be indulging in self-sex that she enjoys sex better stroking
    herself with her fingers, inserting objects like cucumber, vibrator, etc and her
    excuse is she has never enjoyed sex with you because of your last finger size.
    .
    You could also be too big for her and a rough rider, sex becomes torturous,
    she’s going through pains while you are pounding away and all her pleas
    falling on deaf ears, she ends up internally bruised and torn around the edges
    of her vagina.
    She could be suffering from ‘vaginismus’, the condition where the vaginal
    muscles involuntarily or persistently contract when you attempt penetration.
    This contractions can make sex very painful. Her pains could be psychological
    as well, may be due to a traumatic rape experience.
    .
    You are a ‘one minute man’, you turn on and off like an electric switch. You
    arouse her and before she even gets half way, you have cum (climaxed),
    leaving her unsatisfied, while you dose off or go to the bathroom to clean up.
    .
    It is also possible she could be cheating on you with someone else; or she has
    lost every form of libido due to some emotional hurts as a result of your
    cheating or abuse and she shuts down sexually.
    .
    Some women sank themselves into religion to a point they see sex with their
    partner as a sin. They take solace in praying and fasting, numbing their bodies
    and minds against sex. These set of women also use age as excuse, the older,
    the more sexually distanced they become. And so much more
    .
    Dear men, be romantic, pay her attention, take her out on a date even if it is
    to eat just a plate of pepper soup and a bottle of drink, support her dreams,
    listen to her, take long evening or morning walks together. Be the man she fell
    in love with again and she will be the girl that made your heart race.
    .
    Even if your house help is around, it’s not a bad idea to roll up your sleeves
    and get into the kitchen with your wife. Help just a little or just chat her up,
    look at her in a very suggestive manner, you will be amazed at how happy
    and eager your woman will share her body when she knows you are there to
    share all the big and small parts of her life.
    .
    Don’t ever stop flirting with your wife. Tell her how beautiful she is and how
    much you appreciate her. Encourage her to shed weight by volunteering to
    walk out with her. Send her text messages, massage her feet. Have some
    sense of humour, it loosen her up, try to not be too rigid or sacarstic.
    .
    You have got to take care of yourself, clean up properly. Don’t just leave the
    toilet door open when at it, wear deodorant, smell good, Don’t just take a
    shower and go straight to bed for sex, brush your mouth properly, throw in a
    minty gum or TomTom sweet to keep you breath fresh.
    .
    If you take sex enhancement drugs to help you last longer during sex, you may
    just try to tone it down a little, your woman sometimes needs a free and fair
    erection to satisfy her, not the one that keeps firing her even after 30 minutes
    and you are yet to near orgasm.
    .
    If she resists your touch and sexual advances consistently by coming up with
    all kinds of flimsy excuses, then it is time to talk.
    .
    Communication is key to a
    healthy sexual life. Have a hearty chat with your wife, ask her what you are
    not doing right and why she’s shutting you out. Such discussion should not
    be done immediately she turns you down or at bed time, it should be in the
    day time when eyes are 4, while looking intensely into her eyes, choose her
    favourite location or go on a picnic, make the atmosphere conducive, Ask her
    questions. Don’t be embarrassed. There is nothing to be ashamed of making
    your wife’s sexual need a priority.
    You are learning together and practice makes perfect. To get good sex, you
    need to communicate better. See a gynecologist or a sex therapist if the pain
    persists.
    Come with an open mind should she drop a bombshell that has to do with
    your size, body odor or bad breath, play the fool, ask her to help guide you to
    do it better and you cannot do it properly if she won’t guide you.
    Once she opens up to you on her reasons, please do not use it against her, let
    it help you make her a better and willing partner in the other room.

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